Toy Story 2

Bomb Rating: 

I'm sure you're familiar with the confusing practice of translating the titles of American movies into Japanese. "Terminator 2" becomes "Man Who Shoot Big Gun" and "Fight Club" becomes "Boys Who Do Not Wash." This is how I felt watching "Toy Story 2" -- as if the movie I was sitting through had two entirely different meanings to two entirely different segments of the population.

For instance, about an hour into the film, after Woody (Tom Hanks) is taken by an evil toy store owner (Wayne Knight), he finds out that he was once part of a television show with Jessie (Joan Cusack), Prospector (Kelsey Grammar) and Bullseye the Horse. Woody wants to leave and return to his owner and somewhere during his explanation, Jessie reminisces about how she once had an owner and breaks into a song about it.

If you're a kid, the title of this segment is "Jessie Breaks into a Song About Loneliness." If you're an adult, the title of this segment is "Randy Newman and Filmmakers Conspire to Win An Oscar for Best Original Song." The only way it could have been more obvious would have been if a ballot shot out of my chair after it was all over.

Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) and the gang attempt to rescue Woody and naturally end up in a toy store. The kids see "Toys in a Toy Store." I see "Capitalism Enema." I mean, why not just sell the damn dolls at the theater? Given how much people are willing to pay for popcorn, Disney could easily suck the weekly paycheck out of most poor losers just so their kid has the latest thing. One has to wonder whether the reality of millions of kids clamoring for a Woody isn't some sinister conspiracy between Disney and the porn industry.

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