Bomb Rating: 

I don't know where he is or who he is, but there's like one guy in America who appreciates Alan Rudolph's films and he seems to have access to a lot of cash because somehow Rudolph keeps making movies.

In this film, Rudolph revives Mrs. Malaprop, Sheridan's famous character from "The Rivals," in the form of super dimwit Trixie Zurbo (Emily Watson), an undereducated Chicagoan who wants to move beyond her station in life from security guard to private eye. Having only made it through the fifth grade before being forced to take care of her ailing mother, Trixie butchers the English language with almost every sentence. Given his recent films ("Breakfast of Champions" among them), one beings to wonder at Rudolph's own grasp of the English language, given that he doesn't have the slightest clue about what's funny or what's dramatic.

Trixie stumbles onto a mystery when she hooks up with Dex (Dermot Mulroney), who works for Red Rafferty (Will Patton). She ends up on Red's boat and discovers that Red is trying to influence Senator Avery (Nick Nolte). Also on board is Red's girlfriend, Dawn Sloane (Lesley Ann Warren). Dawn makes some noises on the boat that sound like somebody trying to shove their foot up the ass of a hyena, and it scared the bejesus out of me so much I thought I was going to have to leave the theater. I just thought I should warn you.

Something happens to Dawn which leads Trixie to believe the Senator is involved, that there's evidence on a tape, and that she can convince him to come clean. Basically, the movie has the same sort of pace as bingo in an old folks' home. People keep saying the same things to each other over and over again, and it seems as though time has stopped.

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