Twin Falls Idaho

Bomb Rating: 

"Twin Falls Idaho" moves about as fast as Elizabeth Shue taking the GRE.

What, exactly, does this film have to do with Idaho? This is a place I usually associate with potatoes, armed White Supremacist enclaves, and more potatoes. Wherever the Falls brothers, who are Siamese twins, reside, it sure doesn't look anything like Idaho.

The brothers -- Francis, the sick one (Michael Polish), and Blake, the healthy one (Mark Polish) -- come to the city to die and to find their mother (Lesley Ann Warren), who wants nothing to do with them. Obviously, this makes for quite the upbeat movie. It also gives normal people the opportunity to stare at the freaks without feeling embarrassed.

The film is directed by Michael Polish and is co-written with his brother, who are not real conjoined twins, just regular identical twins. This raises the question: Who the hell do they think they are, assuming they know something about what it's like to be joined together? It's possible Michael and Mark are just a little too close, which is ironic because you can be arrested in Idaho for standing too close to somebody of the same sex. Apparently, slow and plodding is their interpretation of what it's like to be Siamese twins, because "Twin Falls Idaho" moves about as fast as Elizabeth Shue taking the GRE.

You also have to wonder about a film that employs the only SNL cast member to have worked less than Gary Kroeger in the last fifteen years: Garrett Morris. Add another ex-television star who dropped off the face of the Earth, William Katt, and you wonder if the Polish brothers ran around Hollywood kicking old refrigerator boxes to find their actors.

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