Twister

Bomb Rating: 

A list of all the idiotic clichés and B-movie dialogue moments in director Jan ("Speed") De Bont's special effects movie would be too long to deal with, but let's try anyway.

A list of all the idiotic clichés and B-movie dialogue moments in director Jan ("Speed") De Bont's special effects movie would be too long to deal with, but let's try anyway.

1. Opening Scene -- 1969. A girl watches as her father is killed by a tornado. Gee, that wouldn't be our main character, Jo (Helen Hunt), would it? You don't think that she's been riddled with guilt her whole life and now has a complex about it, do you?

2. Fellow tornado-chaser and husband, Bill (Bill Paxton) arrives on scene with new fiancé, Melissa (Jami Gertz), to get divorce papers. Hmmm. Let's see. If Bill just grabs the divorce papers and runs, then he wouldn't get to chase the tornado. If Melissa turns out to be a real adventurer then Bill wouldn't have any reason to hook back up with Jo, would he? Gee, I wonder if Bill and Jo will kiss at the end and make up?

3. Tornado-chasing competitor Jonas (Cary Elwes) is greedy, sneaky and better funded -- I wonder if someone, somewhere along the way will say something like, "He's in it for the money, not the science." If you can't guess how he dies, kill yourself before you breed.

4. We meet Jo's aunt. What a surprise that Aunt Meg (Lois Smith) isn't just a small-town doofus, but an older and wiser woman who gives Jo some good advice.

Oh, BTW, the special effects were cool. Huh-huh, huh-huh...

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