Under the Tuscan Sun

Bomb Rating: 

While real peoples' divorce recovery plans typically entail curling up on the kitchen in pools of their own urine for several days, Frances takes a trip to Tuscany, where she purchases an old house and begins that journey back toward the realization that life is beautiful.

It's easy to feel sorry for a character going through a difficult time if it's a universal experience. In the case of Frances Mayes (Diane Lane), her completely unexpected divorce leaves her devastated. Not only is her life turned upside-down, but her ungrateful husband actually sues her for alimony, forcing her from their home while her hubby's new wifey moves in (along with a bun in the oven). Apparently, Frances could never bake (or so we assume), although personally, if I were married to Diane Lane, I can't imagine I'd be doing anything other than walking around with an erection 24/7.

Obviously, the end of the marriage sends Frances's life into a tailspin. It puts her in a funk from which her lesbian friend Patti (Sandra Oh) fears she will never escape. Frances moves into a depressing apartment building where every tenant is a recent divorcee. Crying can be heard through the walls. Oh how will Frances ever recover?

While real peoples' divorce recovery plans typically entail curling up on the kitchen in pools of their own urine for several days, Frances takes a trip to Tuscany, where she purchases an old house and begins that journey back toward the realization that life is beautiful. This whole "life is beautiful" epiphany comes surprisingly easily when one is staring out at the Tuscan countryside and looks like Diane Lane.

Since Frances looks like Diane Lane, the completion of her recovery is only an Italian male supermodel away, and coincidentally, she happens to run into just such a male, sleeps with him and feels better about herself. This gave me the title for my next book: "Divorce 101: Sleeping with a Supermodel." It's always worked for me.

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