Unfaithful

Bomb Rating: 

This is such a nothing movie I was actually amazed by it.

This is such a nothing movie I was actually amazed by it. Director Adrian Lyne, whom I've interviewed and who has all the depth of a puddle, has put together a long career trying to squeeze social commentary out of plots that don't actually occur in society. Let's see: Psycho-bitch boils rabbit trying to ruin Michael Douglas's life; Demi Moore takes a million bucks to screw Robert Redford; and now, Diane Lane cheats on Richard Gere for no apparent reason other than French/Spanish bookseller guy looks mysterious.

The plot in "Unfaithful" is particularly flaky because Lyne is stunningly incapable of giving context to any of his characters. Connie Sumner (Diane Lane) just up and screws this guy for no reason other than he's mysterious and she needs a change. Why should we care?

I would care a bit if Diane Lane were buck naked for long periods of time in this film, but she's not. In fact, it's pretty obvious that both she and Lyne are trying to distract us from her sagging breasts, since their appearance is always introduced, without fail, by either her husband, Edward (Richard Gere), or her lover, Paul Martel (Olivier Martinez), hoisting them up from below the bottom of the screen. Don't think this isn't intentional on Lyne's part, since his opinion of female behavior and fidelity is rather low.

An additional distraction is that Erik Per Sullivan, the youngest brother in "Malcolm in the Middle," plays the Sumners' kid. Now, I hate to point out the obvious, but this seems to defy the entire concept of genetics. This kid looks like he's more closely related to the dining room set.

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