Unleashed

Bomb Rating: 

Unfortunately for this movie, I get sad when Jet Li doesn't kill people.

Filmmakers don't seem to understand the appeal of Jet Li. See, the guy is an expert martial artist and his biggest asset is that he looks good on camera beating the crap out of other guys. Since Jet is small, it's even more interesting.

So, naturally, what do the people behind "Unleashed" do? Of course, they create a whole subplot involving Jet's love of piano music and they spend the whole second act showing Danny (Jet Li) learning to live and to love with the new family he's found: Sam (Morgan Freeman) and Victoria (Kerry Condon).

See, Danny has basically been raised as an animal by his "uncle" Bart (Bob Hoskins). Bart has trained Danny to kill on command, which makes Bart an effective gangster. Bart removes Danny's collar and Danny kills whomever Bart tells him to. This is supposed to make us sad for Danny because he's never experienced life and all he knows is violence.

Unfortunately for this movie, I get sad when Jet Li doesn't kill people. The fewer people he kills, the sadder I become. Actually, he doesn't need to kill them, just look good beating them brutally. In fact, he does this for a short time, but then there's this whole second act thing where the blind piano tuner, Sam, brings Danny home and Danny learns what it's like to be free, free! Danny listens to piano music, eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, kisses a girl for the first time and, oh yeah, beats the shit out of absolutely nobody.

The second act could only have been worse had Jet put on women's clothing and pretended to be Judy Garland. When one-third of a movie sucks balls, the whole movie sucks balls.

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