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Hello, horror fans!
As Parca's post eluded to, the season is upon us and we must all rejoice that it still continues to this day. Thank YOU, Scream!
Totally agree, Urban Legend is a Dummies guide on how NOT to make a horror flick. Ya got Robert Englund, a virtual heir to Vincent Price's throne minus the sly voice and haunting eyes, and they used him just to cheap fans. Trust me, I'd try to get Robert as much work as possible in the fick.
So what do we get? The Well-manicured Man as the dean (WASTED!), a Coffey-wannabe security guard (does it occur to anyone watchin' the movie that she's the ONLY security guard in the whole university or noticeable minority?), the Noxema girl (Gayheart's only claim to fame), typical spooky janitor (Bad Movie Cliche #101), and a rip-off of every aspect of Scream.
Brad (another X-File alumn) at least made the first sequence effective, but after that the whole film goes down hill. Fast! Ya don't even care for the characters that much and the ending is so stupid, I should just reveal it to y'all just to save everyone the time.
And Parca, my vote for most annoying supporting character in a film goes to MARIA PATILLO. First, for her unrealistic protrayal as an actress and her acting in general. Here's my urban legend, after seeing Godzilla, she had to have slept with Dean Devlin. Nuff said.
Everybody forgot PSYCHO. Gus Van Sant's needless remake of the classic in horror and suspense. Problems? Saw the original and can rent it anytime for $1 in my local Hollywood Video so . . . WHY THE HELL DO I WANT TO PAY $7.50 TO SEE THIS ONE? Next, it's perfect the first time so why remake it? If I was gonna remake the flick, I certainly not gonna cast Anne Heche as the shower victim. Not because she's a lesbian, but because I like Drew Barrymore a whole lot better, plus, I'm not a big fan of her actin' that much. Vince Vaughn as Norman Bates? I'm not gonna talk about that one. If I do see it, it's with a group of people, but if not then I avoid it like the plague.
Candyman 3? No more, please. Carrie 2? Why? Bride of Chucky? I can actually count the number of people who want to see that one. Strangeland? Need to know more 'bout the plot first. The Faculty? More info., please.
Don't worry, if y'all ain't gettin' yer horror fix, I recommend watchin' Buffy: the vampire slayer till the X-Files and wait for something good to come.
Let us pray for a good season of sci-fi (SOLDIER w/ Kurt Russel, Jason Scott Lee, and Gary Busey) and horror (John Carpenter's VAMPIRES)!
Well, until then . . .
The Green Fan Eternal,
*LIZ-ard*
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