Vengo

Bomb Rating: 

"Vengo" is only 90 minutes long, which is about its only good point.

How long is "The Godfather"? Three hours? Imagine if the first two-and-a-half hours of "The Godfather" consisted almost entirely of shots of dancing at the wedding that opens the picture. Occasionally, Francis Ford Coppola would cut to some scene inside the house where he'd establish that Don Corleone is upset with somebody and is going to have them killed. Then the film would cut back to the dancing. Eventually, toward the end, somebody would die.

"Vengo" is only 90 minutes long, which is about its only good point. Of those 90 minutes, at least 60 are focused on dancing or singing. See, this film takes place in southern Spain, which is populated by gypsies who spend most of their time dancing and singing. When they're not doing that, rival families are killing each other's members, I guess.

Caco's (Antonio Canales) problem is that his brother has killed a member of a rival family and gone into hiding. Caco is left to protect his brother's son, Diego (Orestes Villasan Rodriguez), who is handicapped. When the rival gang can't find Caco's brother, they target Diego. So this leaves Caco in something of a quandary. Does he tell the rival gang where his brother is or let them harm Diego?

So, as Caco is trying to figure all this out, he does a whole lot of dancing, a whole lot of drinking, and a whole lot of listening to people sing. This means we get to watch a whole lot of dancing and listen to a whole lot of singing. In between the singing and the dancing, there is some dialogue between Caco and others about what is going to happen. Then there's more dancing and singing. And then somebody dies.

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  • I thought this was going to be some kind of movie like "StrictlyBallroom" or "Lambada" because -- and excuse me for thinking this -- the word "dancing" is in the title.

  • This is a musical starring Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Richard Gere. Zellweger and Zeta-Jones sing and dance okay, but Gere is so stiff you'd swear he has a gerbil up his ass. Who knew?