Veronica Guerin

Bomb Rating: 

I'm guessing that this film's ending was actually forced on Bruckheimer by director Joel Schumacher and that we'll see a whole slew of "alternate" endings on the DVD. Here's a preview.

It's certainly plausible that Veronica Guerin (Cate Blanchett) died from getting shot in her car at a traffic light by assailants on a motorcycle. Given the movie is produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, I'm just kind of surprised the car didn't blow up in slow motion.

I mean, think of all the missed opportunities to perpetuate the sort of crap Bruckheimer has been spewing all these years. Why stick to the truth now? Okay, sure, Guerin was a vital figure in recent Irish history, a journalist who exposed the drug trade, leading to the arrest of some major drug dealers and inspiring new anti-drug legislation, but so what?

I'm guessing that this film's ending was actually forced on Bruckheimer by director Joel Schumacher and that we'll see a whole slew of "alternate" endings on the DVD. Here's a preview:

Alternate ending #1: Veronica Guerin sees approaching motorcycle in her rearview mirror so she slams her foot on the gas, initiating a high speed chase on the wrong side of the highway. A motorcycle passenger whips out a bazooka and begins firing, hitting many passing cars, which explode in slow motion, leading to a chain reaction explosion that moves around the city, eventually returning to Guerin's car and killing her.

Alternate ending #2: Guerin leaps from her car as the motorcycle hitmen approach. Recognizing her impending doom, she sets off a tactical nuclear weapon she's had surgically implanted in her armpit, killing herself, the assassins and pretty much everyone else in a three block radius in a spectacular explosion.

Alternate ending #3: Guerin drives her car off a cliff and it explodes on the way down for no apparent reason.

Alternate ending #4: As the motorcycle-riding assassins approach Guerin's car from behind, they take a spill. Their motorcycle skids along the street and into the back of Guerin's car and they both explode.

Alternate ending #5: A talking kangaroo hops up from out of nowhere and drops a bomb in Guerin's car.

Alternate ending #6: "Iceman" swoops down in a cool jet and bombs Guerin's car.

Alternate ending #7: The Japanese conduct a sneak attack and bomb Guerin's car.

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