Very Little Time

Bomb Rating: 

This particular rating belongs strictly to its own class of film, which is the "hi, I made this movie in my backyard with my digital camera for no money and please review it, Mr. Cranky, please."

I'd just like to clarify that this rating doesn't reflect my opinion of this film on a scale with the other films reviewed on this site. This particular rating belongs strictly to its own class of film, which is the "hi, I made this movie in my backyard with my digital camera for no money and please review it, Mr. Cranky, please."

Now, as a public service announcement, if there's anybody out there who's thinking of making their own little home movie and putting it out on DVD and then, of all possible things, sending it to me in the mail, let me save you some time. Just don't do it. Don't send me an email telling me it's really good. I'm not watching any more of these things. Aside from the fact I have enough to do, I'm not going to be responsible for turning home moviemaking into the next form of podcasting.

As far as this film's concerned, it made me realize that there's sort of this strange scale of talent that looks something like this:
*---------------------------------*-----------------------------*
talent no talent horrible pain

See, most people would assume that the scale, on the bad end, must stop at "no talent" because you can't get any worse than no talent, but as far as I'm concerned, there's an inverse relationship at that point between the level of ignorance of a person of his lack of talent and my happiness. The more ignorant somebody is of his complete inability to make anything worth watching, the more pain I am likely to be in. The number of people in this world who are completely oblivious to their lack of talent is astounding and it's also astounding how many of them think they can go in their backyard and shoot a good movie.

Tim and Todd Wynn decided to use their house and their neighborhood and a couple thousand dollars -- maybe saved during summers bagging groceries or selling Star Trek paraphernalia on eBay or whatever it is they do -- and make a movie that they've actually put on DVD and are trying to sell. To launch things slightly higher into the kingdom of geekdom, the movie is also about time travel.

I can't really explain the film because it wouldn't make that much sense if I tried and it would take up a lot of space. Basically, it's about a guy who finds a box and discovers that it sends him back through time by about 7 hours, where it then becomes obvious that unless he wants to get out of the loop he's in, he's got to stop himself from opening the box.

If you want more information, I'll play Tim and Todd's bitch for the moment and suggest going to www.verylittletime.com where you can buy the DVD.

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