V for Vendetta

Bomb Rating: 

V is for vain too.

Take a look at the resume of director James McTeigue, and his last three credits as assistant director tell a story: "The Matrix Revolutions," "The Matrix Reloaded," "Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones." What do these films have in common? That's right: They're all really loud. Not only are they loud in terms of decibel level, they're loud in terms of ideas. All three films scream out their meanings like air raid sirens.

McTeigue is the enabler for the Wachowski brothers, who wrote this film and are still trying to make everyone believe their grade school philosophy is profound despite the critical failures of the last two "Matrix" movies. Let's face it: It's one thing to simply make a bad movie; it's quite another to make a movie you prop up as "revolutionary" only to have most of the people who see it laugh at you as though you'd just peed your pants onscreen.

"V for Vendetta" is just such a movie: loud and full of ideas that sound profound the first time you hear them, but then begin to seem about as relevant as the Fandango commercials you have to see over and over again before every movie. I actually pray now that I arrive late enough to miss the Fandango commercials. This film is set in a futuristic London where a masked man called V (Hugo Weaving) single- handedly tries to free society from totalitarian control under leader Adam Sutler (John Hurt). The audience's little companion on this journey of philosophical discovery is Evey (Natalie Portman), who initially views V as the terrorist the government says he is, then learns that it's really the government that's the evil force.

Does this sound familiar at all? Replace Natalie Portman with Keanu Reeves and it'd probably be a lot more obvious (though the kissing scene between Evey and the masked V would still be just as ridiculous). Sadly, the Wachowski's philosophical leaves don't stray far from the tree. Evey is simply another character awakening to the fakery of the world around her, as is inspector Finch (Stephen Rea), who tries to track down both Evey and V.

The ideas of the Wachowski brothers, which obviously seek to draw some parallels between the Orwellian speech of Sutler and the Orwellian speech of George W. Bush, would be a more compelling were they not so intent on repeating them at every possible moment. I was hoping for an interesting story, and instead sat through a preachy treatise on bad government.

V is for Vendetta, but v is for vain too.

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If you're innocent why do you need privacy? asks Alito

Dan_in_Cincinnati's picture

WESTON, FL—In a public ruling made this week while peering into the home of 28-year-old resident Laura Daltry, Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito stated that "in no way whatsoever" is the right to privacy explicitly upheld by the U.S. Constitution.

Enlarge Image Alito in bushes

Justice Samuel Alito ruled there is no constitutional obligation to ring your doorbell first.

"After careful consideration, it is this justice's finding that there is no specific mention of the right to privacy in any of the 27 amendments," Alito whispered, before furtively looking around and then jimmying Daltry's bathroom window ajar with a penknife. "A rigorous originalist interpretation of the pertinent statutory language has yielded the conclusion that privacy is not now, nor has it ever been, a federally protected liberty."

"Although modern tort law indicates four categories of privacy invasion, these amount to little more than a vague suggestion of the 'right to be left alone,'" Alito added, crawling through the narrow opening and slowly lowering himself onto Daltry's toilet tank. "Plus, if you rent a ground floor apartment, you're kind of asking for it."

The 1-0 decision, made by Alito after several scotch and sodas at a nearby bar, stipulated that a citizen does retain the personal rights unambiguously guaranteed by the Fourth and Fifth Amendments, specifically those pertaining to search and seizure. However, Alito said that the amendments' language does not unequivocally protect against high-level judiciary officials entering one's home and rifling through one's laundry hamper.

Alito in room

Justice Alito brands the garment's owner an Amicus curiae, or, "friend of the court."

Alito was also careful to point out several times that Supreme Court justices are appointed for life.

"No reading of the applicable statutes or legal precedents reveals the proceedings at hand to be unlawful or unconstitutional in any way," Alito said as he lightly ran his fingers over a tube of contraceptive foam he found in Daltry's medicine cabinet. "Additionally, there is no express mention of, or even reference to, 'Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito' in any of the amendments relevant to said proceedings."

"Christ, what on earth does this woman need with three boxes of Q-tips?" Alito continued, hiding behind the bathroom's shower curtain after he thought he heard a noise.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/right_to_privacy_not_guaranteed_by

{;-) Dan in Miami

 

Nice, you know the Onion has Newspaper dispencers in NYC...

TMundo's picture

...and their ONN (Onion News Network) Youtube films are pretty kewl.

Why?

gamerarocks's picture

Why did this movie have an almost interesting concept and idea, turn into a psychology class project, and go nowhere?  Why did the characters all have a likebility of corrugated cardboard?  Why would I be inspired to purchase that guhhey mask?  LAME.  D maybe D-  

One out of four people is freakishly stupid. If three of your friends are normal, then it's you.

 

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