Beware the evil Space Lightning! What kind of Stupid Pill did the people at Universal ingest to convincethem that yet another "people chased by mysterious monster in confined
space" film would be fruitful? How many more times does Hollywood have
to remake "Alien"? I could swallow a piece of paper and a pencil and
launch a more original script out of my ass.
There's no sense in repeating too much of the story, so let's just say a
bunch of people from one boat go onto another boat only to discover that
the evil Space Lightning has turned the crew into highly marketable
half-Alien, half-Terminator things. Their old boat sinks, and the cast
is forced to discover a way to kill the evil Space Lightning. It only
takes this MENSA convention 90 minutes to figure out that a) lighting is
made of "electricity," and b) they're in the middle of a lot of fucking
water.
Among those who are pleasantly surprised to discover that water and electricity
don't mix are Jamie Lee Curtis, William Baldwin and Donald Sutherland.
They run around the ship oblivious to blood and little machines prancing
about, and when things get hairy, director John Bruno shakes the camera
so we can't see any of it.
Are we really supposed to be afraid of this highly advanced life form
which, having the opportunity to land anywhere on Earth, picks the one
place where it's surrounded by the means to its own
end? It's as if Hitler came back from the dead and decided to begin his
quest for world domination from inside an Israeli prison cell.
