01/28/1999: Where the fuck are all these candidates coming from?

Posted By: Hairhead


Jack Valenti

"If I am elected God, Heaven will consist of wonderful family-appropriate environments, except where box-office receipts dictate otherwise. All decisions in Hol-- Heaven will be ratified by the Accounting firm of Peat, Marwick, (Grandfathers), but kept secret nonetheless. Ignore the shady characters in the background; they might look like they are feeling up 12-years-old, but, honest, she's just sitting on his lap."


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