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This is Earl Camembert, deep in hostile territory to review the critical savaging of actor Eugene Levy by film critic Mr. Cranky.
Now I know that I'm supposed to maintain a journalistic distance from my reports, but goddammit, it just makes me sick to hear a fine actor like Levy unfairly castigated by a critic who has to beg his readers to get him out of cyberspace and into a real newspaper. What right does he have to maul someone who's appeared in memorable roles like the second Soviet soldier in "Stripes"? I can't help myself, it's just getting me madder and madder. Hey Cranky, you want to have this out man to man? Come on! Let me just get out of this overcoat and wait a minute, the microphone is caught in my tie.
Dammit, the wire is tangled up in my glasses. Hey, don't shut off the power! I'm still talking! Shit! There goes my script! Will somebody pick up those papers? Whah! Who put the banana peel under my foot?
Earl Camembert, live at Mr. Cranky's.
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