Mr. Cranky's rating:
There's a point where (Henry) Winkler pullsdown his pants to show Bobby a Roy Orbison tattoo and director Frank
Coraci is forced to use a butt-double of a realistically sized ass
because, as we all know, you can spray-paint Winston Churchill's Iron
Curtain speech across Winkler's ass in one continuous line and still
have space for punctuation.
It takes this film about fifteen minutes to use up all its jokes. Then,if you have an IQ above 100, you get to sit there and be annoyed while
all of Adam Sandler's fans laugh at the same thing over and over and
over again until soda spurts out of their nose onto the back of your
neck. Here's all that the movie consists of:
31-year-old Louisiana numskull waterboy Bobby Boucher (Adam
Sandler) getting abused by something or someone.
31-year-old
Louisiana numskull waterboy Bobby Boucher in a football uniform tackling
the crap out of somebody.
Somebody's head being superimposed over
somebody else's head so that Bobby can work up the motivation to tackle.
Adam Sandler saying something stupid or making a stupid-looking
face.
His momma (Kathy Bates) calling football "foosball."
As I said, fifteen minutes into the movie and every one of these things
has already happened. Bobby get abused by Red
Beaulieu's (Jerry Reed) football team and is fired from his waterboy
job. He goes to work for Coach Klein (Henry Winkler) and displays his
tackling ability. Coach Klein puts him on the team and Bobby leads the
pathetic team to a showdown with Red Beaulieu's team and, with Bad News
Bears originality, wins.
Speaking of pathetic, how painful is it for anyone who grew up in the
1970s to look at Henry Winkler? There's a point where Winkler pulls down
his pants to show Bobby a Roy Orbison tattoo and director Frank Coraci
is forced to use a butt-double of a realistically sized ass because, as
we all know, you can spray-paint Winston Churchill's Iron Curtain speech
across Winkler's ass in one continuous line and still have space for
punctuation. Combine that with a personality that would incite an
ass-kicking from Fred Rogers and seeing Winkler do anything is more
torture than any child of the '70s should be forced to tolerate.
Was it really that bad?
You tell us! Discuss "The Waterboy" in the Mr. Cranky forum below!
