Welcome to the Dollhouse

Bomb Rating: 

Here's this film in a nutshell: "Heathers" meets "Kids".

Oh goody, another film about a torturous childhood. Here's thisfilm in a nutshell: "Heathers" meets "Kids." Consequently, you spend a lot of the film laughing yourself into a state of sickness.

Poor Dawn Weiner (Heather Matarazzo) is living in the 1990s but looks like a walking 1950s fashion advertisement. It doesn't help that she's not attractive, and, as if he needed to beat the point home beyond all reasonable doubt, director Todd Solondz pits Dawn against a nemesis in the girls' potty. "Why do you hate me? Dawn asks. "Because you're ugly," the girl replies. Okay, I get the point.

As if Dawn didn't have enough problems in school, her home life proves once again that people in America need to be tested before being allowed to breed. Clearly, procreation is not something everybody ought to be doing.

As the middle child and older sister, Dawn is tortured by her angelic little sister, Missy, who is adored by their goofy mother. Again, to relentlessly beat this point home, Solondz frequently shows Missy dancing around in a tutu accompanied by some piece of music that sounds like Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker Suite." Torture for Dawn; torture for Mr. Cranky.

People are likely to have one of two reactions to this film. Former nerds will ask, "Why did I need to be reminded about this awful period in my life?" while members of fraternities and sororities will scream, "Kill her! Kill her!"

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