Ah — don’t want anyone to know how civil you’ve become of late, do you? All right, far be it from me to let the Alien out of John Hurt’s chest.
1. The most cuddly space alien. [David Dixon as Ford Prefect — I’d cuddle with him any time.]
2. The best space alien catch phrase. (You know, like “Klaatu! Barada nikto!” Stupid Ewok songs excluded.) [“I got a bad feeling about this.”]
3. Space alien who’s probably a Libertarian. [I suspect Richard Gere’s been fooling us all this time.]
4. Space alien you’d like least to meet behind the customer service counter at Media Play when you’re returning a damaged CD. [Zontar, the Thing from Venus — “No refunds allowed. Here, let me place this glowing cabbage on the back of your head and we’ll call it an even exchange”.]
5. Space alien that would make an especially evil Beanie Baby — what would it do? [A pod baby from INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS — fall asleep next to it and see what happens.]
6. Space alien most likely to devour Barbara Walters during interview. [Borg Queen — “You have an interesting lisp. Its distinctiveness will be added to our perfection.” Borg subsequently strike universal fear by saying, “Wesistance is futile.”]
7. Space alien who would fit in well at Cranky’s. [Q — ’nuff said.]
8. Space alien who already IS at Cranky’s. [You mean •everyone• here isn’t an alien?]
9. Best concept for a space alien movie already made. [CONTACT — the most thought-provoking and realistic, with 2001 a close second.]
10. Best concept for a space alien movie that’s crying out for a producer. (Suggested casting optional.) [Well, it’s not really about a space alien, but I’d like to see the long-abused planet fight back in GAIA’S REVENGE. Chuck Heston runs out of ammo and gets mauled to death by a gang of endangered pumas in the first half.]
11. So who believes in sentient extra-terrestrial life, anyway? [No matter the bio-supposition l-s offered, it’s still an open question and I choose to believe in life.]
Sentient? It means a life form higher than Mr. Wonderful.
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