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1. The most cuddly space alien. <Chewbacca. You know I have a thing about tall, hairy beings. Also, can you imagine what he'd sound like in bed?>
2. The best space alien catch phrase. (You know, like “Klaatu! Barada nikto!” Stupid Ewok songs excluded.) <"May the schwartz be with you!">
3. Space alien who’s probably a Libertarian. <E.T.>
4. Space alien you’d like least to meet behind the customer service counter at Media Play when you’re returning a damaged CD. <A Klingon. Can you imagine: "You want to return this CD? This isn't damaged." (smashes the CD over your head) "Now it's damaged.">
5. Space alien that would make an especially evil Beanie Baby — what would it do? <Dark Helmet. Send you off into space at ridiculous speed.>
6. Space alien most likely to devour Barbara Walters during interview. <Pizza the Hut>
7. Space alien who would fit in well at Cranky’s. <Yogurt>
8. Space alien who already IS at Cranky’s. <Lily Von Schtupp>
9. Best concept for a space alien movie already made. <I'm blanking here.>
10. Best concept for a space alien movie that’s crying out for a producer. (Suggested casting optional.) <Patsy and Edina and the rest of the cast of Absolutely Fabulous head off to Mars in pursuit of Christian Lacroix, who has travelled there for inspiration for his Spring 2001 line.>
11. So who believes in sentient extra-terrestrial life, anyway? <I just don't know. I can't answer this one.>
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