Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Bomb Rating: 

This is probably one of the most heinous films ever made about corporate exploitation in the history of cinema.

This is probably one of the most heinous films ever made about corporate exploitation in the history of cinema. Essentially, it's the tale of a high-level CEO, Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder), attempting to teach morals to children while he himself exploits everyone and everything around him.

Let's take the most vile example of that exploitation first: the Oompah Loompahs. Conditions in Wonka's factory are obviously so wretched that generations of Oompah Loompahs have shrunken into freaks of humanity whose only refuge is the horrid factory where they slave away, making profits for Wonka's monopolistic business. Think I'm kidding? Take a look at their orange skin. If that isn't one of the worst examples of toxic poisoning you've ever seen, I'll shove an everlasting Gobstopper up my rectum. Their "happy" songs are cries for freedom masking the horror of their situation. "Oompah Loompah, doopity dah...." What's "doopity dah" and "doopity doo"? Why, it's shit, of course. Tragically, however, no one can understand them. Look, you don't get orange skin and blue hair from decent working conditions.

If these simple examples aren't good enough, just look at working conditions in the factory where Wonka gives the tour. Augustus Gloop falls into an open well of chocolate. Mike Teevee is zapped by a device that doesn't have any safety features, and is shrunk. Violet Beauregard eats some gum that obviously hasn't gone through FDA approval, and is turned into a blueberry. Veruca Salt falls down an open hole. Finally, Grandpa Joe (Jack Albertson) and Charlie (Peter Ostrum), drink some liquid left out in the open and are nearly cut to bits by an exhaust fan. If you'll notice, Wonka encourages the entire group to lick wallpaper. I don't care what the wall tastes like, sharing spit could lead to who knows what.

Slave labor, unsafe working conditions; Hollywood could do an update and call it "Kathie Lee and the Garment Factory." Where's OSHA when you need them?

To spread the word about this Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory review on Twitter.