Wishmaster

Bomb Rating: 

This film is billed as "Wes Craven Presents," which is Hollywood-speak for "Wes Craven would not direct this film, but this hack would."

Take a whiney female heroine like Alexandra Amberson (Tammy Lauren), who's running around like an idiot and periodically uttering profanities for no useful reason while trying to defeat a ridiculous ancient, evil power like the Djinn (Andrew Divoff), and this quintessential horror film situation begs the same question: "When's this chick going to take a shower?"

At least if Alexandra would have taken a trip under the nozzle of perpetual female exploitation (the hot, nude shower), "Wishmaster" could have created some kind of excitement. As it is, the Djinn (pronounced "gin," as in "pass me some gin so I can make it through this movie") runs around tricking people into making wishes that kill them. If he makes Alexandra, who's responsible for releasing him, make three wishes, the Djinn gets to take over the Earth.

Alexandra accidentally releases the Djinn when she has a friend analyze the stone in which he's trapped. Emerging from his eternal jail like a mouthful of regurgitated gummy bears, the Djinn starts tricking people into making wishes in hopes of trapping Alexandra into making hers.

This film is billed as "Wes Craven Presents," which is Hollywood-speak for "Wes Craven would not direct this film, but this hack would." Another trick "Wishmaster" uses is in the casting. Robert Englund from "Nightmare on Elm Street," Tony Todd from "Candyman," and Kane Hodder from "Friday the 13th" all have roles. If you were wondering why any of these "actors" weren't getting choice parts, "Wishmaster" answers that question.

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