To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything

Bomb Rating: 

Patrick, Wesley and John turn out to be the three wise men transvestites as they tour the country bringing the message of baby Jesus to little bassackwards towns.

Sheriff Dollard (Chris Penn) faints after reaching up Vida Boheme's (Patrick Swayze) dress and discovering he's received a quarter-pounder when he thought he was getting the happy meal. Thinking they've killed the bewildered Sheriff, Vida and her pals, Noxeema (Wesley Snipes) and Chi Chi (John Leguizamo), run off to Snydersville, the quintessential American town where everybody is hiding something and just waiting for three bizarre-ass looking transvestites to arrive and show them exactly what.

It's bad enough that this film is a rip-off of "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert," but to assume that a ten-second sight gag will carry an entire movie is utterly vacuous. Patrick, Wesley and John turn out to be the three wise men transvestites as they tour the country bringing the message of baby Jesus to little bassackwards towns where people beat their wives and don't know how to dress themselves.

The funniest thing about the movie is that director Beeban Kidron takes the moral message of the story seriously. The transvestites teach the small town morons that it's important to be themselves. Suffice to say that anyone who's buying self-help lessons from a pack of panicky transvestites is probably paying too much.