X2

Bomb Rating: 

Movies like this are nearly impossible to discuss without revealing the climax, thus prompting complaints from X-Men freaks everywhere who've realized it's the only climax they're likely to ever experience in the presence of another person.

"Repeat" is always a useful mantra in Hollywood, where Botox-numbed minds think alike and rarely pass up the opportunity to recycle old material like a mama bird regurgitating worms to her helpless young.

In "X2," the X-Men, along with Magneto (Ian McKellen) and Mystique (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos), discover a plot by General William Stryker (Brian Cox) to rid the world of all mutants. If only he could succeed! The thought of ending the X-Men franchise gives me a warm sensation I haven't felt since the end of the Police Academy films.

Movies like this are nearly impossible to discuss without revealing the climax, thus prompting complaints from X-Men freaks everywhere who've realized it's the only climax they're likely to ever experience in the presence of another person. So I'll just say this: If you're one of the X-Men concerned about a dam that might burst and are looking for some way to freeze the progress of this disaster, why would you suddenly forget the special mutant powers of that guy next to you, the one named "Iceman"?

Fortunately, I can still reveal some developments:

* Rogue (Anna Paquin): Blond highlight in hair still looks like a tragic Sun-In mishap.
* Prof. Xavier (Patrick Stewart): Captain Typecast to the bridge!
* Wolverine (Hugh Jackman): With new hand attachments, can now julienne fries, the logical career move after this film.
* Dr. Jean Grey (Famke Janssen): Stronger telekinesis reveals movie career coming to quick end.
* Storm (Halle Berry): Enhanced wind-generating powers designed to prevent assaults from over-eager Oscar winners during future ceremonies.

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