Y Tu Mamá También

Bomb Rating: 

I had heard a lot about this film, which translates into English as "And Your Mother Too." Basically, I had heard that it was so deep and so much more than your average teenage road picture. I guess it IS more than your average teenage road picture. It takes place in Mexico. It's in Spanish. Had I known that this was what qualifies something as "more than an average teenage road picture," I would have stayed home, thrown on my DVD of "The Matrix," and watched it with the Spanish dubbing.

The story is about teenage friends Julio (Gael Garcia Bernal) and Tenoch (Diego Luna), who take a road trip with a beautiful older woman, Luisa (Maribel Verdu). Fortunately for them, she screws each of them, but it doesn't turn out very satisfying for her because they both stink at sex despite their protestations of amazing prowess. The most strikingly ridiculous part of the movie is when Luisa, after hearing about how much Julio and Tenoch whack off, tells them they should stop so they can build up a resistance and not ejaculate so quickly.

Now of course like George Bush Jr. and Bernard Law, I never masturbate. However, after doing many searches on Google under the terms "masturbate," "resistance," and "intercourse," I discovered two things. First, there's a page devoted to Bible sex facts, and second, one increases one's ability to hold ejaculate by masturbating often because the penis becomes desensitized. I don't know what Luisa was talking about, but one can only suspect she was an agent of the Devil. Or John Ashcroft, if you want to split hairs and pretend there's a difference. Incidentally, no additional information was obtained from the above search by adding the words "hamster" or "tuba."

Take out the foreign language and the foreign location, and this film is simply a Porky's with wheels. Sure, director Alfonso Cuarn tries to point out some class issues by having his narrator inform us that some guy has been run over by a car and Tenoch has never visited the home town of his nanny. As far as I'm concerned, this only distracted me from having additional opportunities to stare at Luisa's chest.

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